birthday dinner

still hot in glasses at 30. hee hee

baby e is just doing her routine warm up stretches. she always does that at the beginning of parties. just to keep it loose, you know.

i heart anna.

precious trilingual family.

while it may appear that i am helping him clap, this kid can keep a beat better than me any day, i am sure. his mom told me that he was kicking to the beat while still in the womb.

babe a in the middle is within one month and one mile of baby e. sweet potential prom date, eh?


Last night, I celebrated my birthday with some friends at an indian restaurant. Originally, I wanted to have my birthday dinner at a veg*n place in chapel hill. But the owner was unwilling to accommodate us.

The people who run the indian place are so fabulous! They actually thanked us for bringing our children to dinner!

today is my birthday!

this is what i look like on my birthday, sharing a photo with my favorite babe.

vegan gingerbread cupcakes with lemon icing. with real ginger pieces! and a handmade topper from ezra's boyfriend. her future mother-in-law made the cupcakes. i heart their whole family!

Today is my 29th birthday. It's a good day to be 29. I only wish that I could recall what happened as I was born...or see a video of it, at least. My mom gave birth to me as a single mom, at the tender age of seventeen. She said the epidural hurt so much when they put it in. I have no doubt that my mom is strong and tough but I hate that I caused her pain in labor. My daughter's birth was probably so different from my own. She was born at home with a supportive husband and the few hand-selected people I love in the room. It must have been so hard for my mom from the very beginning. I think that she loved me as a newborn babe though. I think that she may have even liked being pregnant, just a little. I love this one picture of my mom standing on the porch with a quilted maternity shirt on her very pregnant body. I love being a mom and am so thankful for my own mom. Thanks, mom for giving me allow. These days I am really thankful for it!

sliding and her first cake

so good to her.
chocolate cake!
yum. notice how it's all on her shirt sleeve, too.

did i tell you all about the slide? baby e went down the slides at the mall play area all by herself. i helped her climb up and held her hand going down, at first. but a few minutes into it and she was going up and down by herself. she only needed a little bit of redirecting to know not to climb back up the slide once she had gone down it.

there were two other slides and she conquered those, as well! she really enjoyed her sliding times! we went back there after a two year old birthday party and she liked the slides all the more. i made a video of it but do not know how to post it here.

"when i get to the bottom, i go back to the top of the slide, when i get to the top, i go for a ride."

she has returned to nursing like a four week old babe. all day and all night, even when she eats lots of other food and drinks water. my breastfeeding expert friend told me that babes sometimes increase nursing needs around every half year mark. so, if ezra was 18 months old, i may understand the reason. she replied, "well, ez is just advanced, of course!"

we are pursuing some dreams of travel and possibly living abroad for a period. a's contract job will be over come june. there is a super neat program that we have been hoping to do that begins on july 1st. otherwise, we would like to volunteer abroad for at least a few months somewhere in either southeast asia or perhaps eastern africa. we have friends who do maternal health care work in those areas in various countries. it would be nice to already have something established that we could plug right into. we will keep you posted on that!

i am off to try on dresses for the wedding tomorrow. i am trying to save some money for the travel adventure so my friend from social work is lending me one.

thanks for reading! shoot us a comment if you have time!

what IS happening in the life of a babe?

ee cummings once said, "to be nobody but yourself- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you like everybody else- means to fight the anrdest battle which any human being can fight."

this blog is really supposed to be about how baby e is doing, so here is what she is up to these days.

her favorite word to say over and over is "ball" and her favorite sign to give is a pat to the head which could mean either "lettuce" or "hat". she regularly says: ball, mom, dad, down, this, bye, no, woahhhhh, and mmmmmhhh mmmmmhhh mhhhhhh. we have heard her say on rare occasion a few other words like: sherp, book, dog, bounce, up, boots and ba doop ba doop ba doo.

she regularly signs: milk (for breastfeeding), dad, dog, hat/lettuce, water, eat, color, red, hug/love, signing, want, train, excited, thank you, socks, shoes, boots, and up. occasionally, she has given us the sign for: orange, blue, and play.

she shales her head no a lot and sometimes yes. she responds to many of our signs to her even ones she does not sign back to us. she can identify her body parts such as: head, mouth, nose, belly and milk (aka breasts), feet and eyes. she gives us kisses and hugs pretty often. last week when i was really sick, she rubbed and patted my back. she likes to give us high fives, especially before we fall to sleep together. she thinks it's pretty funny. nothing like a laugh baby giving you high fives to close the day. it's much better than the nights when she screams, wrestles and crawls off the bed over and over!

seneca said, "no man can live happily who regards himself alone, who turns everything to his own advantage. Thou must live for another if thou wishest to live for thyself." here are the casa de sol, we are each struggling to live for each other. it's challenging and like any challenging it si rewarding!

chillin.

today, i am on the mend, for real. feeling a lot better. i can understand a little bit why people who recover from cancer and the like run marathons; they are so grateful to not be sick and to be able to use their bodies! not that i had cancer or will ever run anywhere.

this week is already full and busy before it's even begun. we have some important top secret applications to fill out and mail. a is almost done with our tax prep. tues night we have a church meeting about some of the changes our church is going to have this year. wed night we have a time with our special friends. thurdsay night, i have a doula meeting at the hospital. friday night, we finally get to hang with our long lost friends and i will try on dresses. saturday, the precious ones will get married and we will muster up the strength to party the proper way, hopefully!

during the days, i need to get a TB test done at the hospital and secure a parking pass somehow. i need to read ten books. i need to do some mock interviews (aka the preview) with c. we need to sell our silver VW jetta with heated seats and a 6 disk cd player. anyone want to buy it?

we need to get together with that wonderful woman we ran into at whole foods while buying a cake.

huggy lovey babe needs some special attention after her parents were zombies, esp. her mother! last week.

"are you who i think you are?"

The day after my last post, hubby love and i came down with a wicked stomach illness. we spent the entire day throwing up. i will spare you the details. i have never felt that sick in my adult life! it's so much harder having a baby love to care for and not being able to care for her as well. if you are a couple planning to have a child, just don't ever get sick at the same time as your partner! that's my wise advice.

on friday, i did get to celebrate my birthday early with k rah at irregarless cafe near downtown raleigh. fun times although i was still trying to feel better. i barely got to eat the yummy vegan platter hubby love devoured. i did enjoy seeing our friends.

with my number one girl

smit and i love us some nancy pants

safe in the arms of love, holding me still, holding me near, in your arms of love.

my fave people.

the gals

thoughtful friends

often, she is my muse.

they are going to the chapel and they're gonna get married.

the next day, i promptly started throwing up, again. baby love took a really long nap, her dad was well on the mend and so i didn't feel too bad about laying around and reading all day. we did make it out to ant knee's birthday party. on the way there, we stopped to pick up a chocolate chambord cake from whole foods. the most wonderful thing of the entire weekend happened then!!! i kept catching eyes with a beautiful and familiar looking face while i was checking out and she was sitting in the cafe. i put my cake down, went to the bathroom, couldn't muster the energy to buy crocs in my size and went back to get my cake and leave. as i was walking out the door, i gave this woman one last glance and she waved to me. i practically ran to her, threw my cake down on the table and was quickly embracing her. at a loss for words, i just whispered into her ear, "are you who i think that you are?"

doulaville

love it!

psuedo cousins


In the past weeeeeek, i have gotten so encouraged about being a doula. i attended my first client at durham regional hospital here in my town. the doc was really supportive of using telemetry, which i surely misspelled but it is a remote fetal monitoring unit that allows the mom to walk, move around and even get in water. the mom made use of it ans did the hard work of helping a baby come "down and out". i really want to respect the confidence of the mom and her family so bless me if i refrain from lots of details. if you know this mom, you can ask her if she would like to tell you the birth story of her first son.

on thursday, i traveled to the city where i was born 29 years ago this month. i spent time with the woman who gave birth to me in a hospital with an epidural that she hated getting. she labored with me and put me to her breast where i remained for over a year. i am so proud of her for breastfeeding me for so long and with such limited support. i am SURE it has been extremely helpful to me throughout my life! thank you, again, mom for your commitment and mothering.

i am becoming certified as a labor assistant through ALACE, a midwifery model of care program. i attended a three day workshop as part of that. care to know what else is involved in the certification process? Here is some info from the ALACE website:
* Attendance at the 3 day workshop
* Completion of the required reading list
* Successful completion of the written exam
* Audit a series of childbirth classes
* Written self-evaluations of 6 births you have attended
* Written performance evaluations from 3 people you have attended or worked with

I am just getting started but so happy to be following the call on my life to support women in the childbearing year. Please pray for me in this pursuit. I am beyond excited about the opportunities that lie ahead of me.

first doula client!

buddies

my best friend from ncsu, but not my doula client...yet


we are both feeling much better bt now. thank you if you prayed for us. i am really glad that we are better, too. in a few short hours, i may get to attend my first doula client!!! it's really an honor to be welcomed into the birth of a new babe. i will share what i can while still respecting their privacy.

as most of you know, i had a doula attending e's birth. this woman inspired me to have my baby at home, naturally and free of interventions. i looked to her for help and guidance, knowing that she had given birth to her two babes before me. one of those babes was even in attendance at e's birth!

strugglin"

If you are reading this today, say a little prayer for the female half of the gun tah clan. Baby has a runny, snotty nose and is not happy about it. She's super clingy on me and nursing lots and lots for long amounts of time. She even walked over to the sling and pointed at it today. I asked if she wanted to be in it and she surely did. She's never done that before, if i recall correctly. While I want to nurse her and hug her and wipe her nose and give her extra attention, it's taking a lot out of me right now b/c i am feeling a worn out.
Yesterday, when she woke with a snotty nose, I woke with major hip pain. I am not sure what it is from but it's uncomfortable to sit, walk or lie down in certain positions. I don't usually have aches and pains that keep me down so it's not an easy adjustment for me. I have not had a half way decent night's sleep all week starting with a new year's eve up till 3:30am. As a co-sleeping family, we adjusted well to sharing the bed with a babe. It actually makes night time parenting easier for us both. So, for me to complain about not getting sleep means i am for real not getting a good rest. Thanks for the prayers!

happy 30th hubby!!!

finger puppets from uncle don and auntie nancy who visited from seattle.

she is laughing so much with her unca jussy!

poor baby e keeps getting outed by mom-the-camera-hog

indian appetizers


unca jussy!!!

greatest friends ever gifted a speakers!!! it was the only thing he even wanted.

my friend the massage therapist made this quilt for e as a christmas gift, totally surprised us!

yes, everyone did wear matching outfits.

the black sisters

he stopped being a vegetarian and ate turtle ice cream cake.

m.roy really got into the fireworks and she really got into the beer.

they love each other even when there is no red pepper hummus involved.

christmas and WAHM Dad

sherpa's christmas treat
yes, sherp gets gifts, too. he was awake before baby e so we let him open some gifts first. *please note that all bags and boxes are recycled year after year. you may see an old gap bag or whatever but do not worry!*

mom's got coffee, babe's got water.

her fave book is "i love my duckling". it's one of those things where we have read it so often that i now just recite it from memory. a practical but fun duck scrubbie for the bath.

aforementioned duck, frog toy that is really a bouncy ball, wooden train whistle that sounds like a train when one blows it, wind up wooden train that was free b/c it lacked a price tag at world market, etch-a-sketch palm pilot thingy that was also free (some lady gave it to ez one night when we were out at tyler's)

vegan lip balms, dr bronner's lavender, avalon organics lavender conditioner *mom made my stocking when i was two*

fire starters, marzipan, navratan korma sauce, our traditional toblerone bar, garam masala spice mix, dried chiles, and butter rum almonds to go with rum and rum or rum and rootbeer or rum and rosa. *mom made andy's stocking when we got married*

she likes wooden trains. my mom sent these to her in the mail. thanks, mom!

the question on people's lips is "how was your christmas?" i don't know how to respond? it was a nice day? i have a lot of responses in my head, but i try to be polite and say, "it was good. how was yours?" but i don't even know what i mean by asking that question and then i start feeling like a phony. what do people really want to know, anyway? Is it still like fourth grade and we want to know what cool gifts our loved ones with money gave us? I did ask my friend, "did you get any good loot?" she is a pirate so i try to speak her language. so, my chirstmas day was uhnhm...good.

mostly, i liked getting an overdose of hubby time. I wish he could work from home every single day. i like days when he doesn't have to leave the house for work. i am so into our together time. but i know something about him...he starts to go stir crazy if we don't do stuff outside of the house. i want to convey this thing about him in a way that doesn't make him seem like a meanie. it's not that he doesn't like spending time just hanging out or one-on-one time with his fam. he just needs stimulation in various forms. Mainly, he needs to interact with a variety of people and within changing scenery. he really cannot sit still, pet the dog, read and interact with babylove for an extended period of time before his head starts swelling up with boredom. not that those things are boring, really. they are just hard for him to stay in the moment with. plus, the romantic image of lounging on the sofa absorbing written words, one hand petting the quiet puppy and a contended baby playing silently on the floor is soooo not what is usually going on around here. our large dog (120 pound rottie) is usually ramming and charging his ass into the just-learning-to-walk baby; she does handle it well and usually lands on the floor with a laugh. Even though big dog is gentle with her, he never looks behind him when backing up and that's when she takes a tumble. When the dog is not mauling her (98% of the time), they play tug of war or trade off chasing each other's toys. This leads to one parent or both yelling, "drop it!" when dog face begins to rip apart a plastic toy/stuffed animal or splinter one of the millions of wooden trains around here. (Baby love has already said "drop" b/c she hears us say it so freakin often.) There is no possible way to focus on a sentence in this sort of situation, you understand. Thus, no relaxin around the house is really happening on his days off or his work from home days. Regardless, the sound of dad and babe playing in the tub at lunchtime (happening as i type) makes a flexible work schedule worth the chaos of staying home (IMHO, at least).

Baby E says...

where is da baby?

there she is!

On Monday, we went gift shopping, ate a burrito for lunch and then wrapped gifts most of the afternoon. We ordered gravel for the driveway from some place that would prove to be run by complete jerks.

Baby e is talking a bunch now. She will walk to the door, point or slap it and say, "ow sighd". She refers to her older dog brother by his name now. The neighbor's barking dogs are clearly referred to as a quick "dahwg". Whenever we talk with her, she is quick to imitate the sounds we make. I never realized how often i singsay, "ba doop, ba doop ba dooo" until baby e started saying it.

She hugs us and give us kisses with a good "mmm muhhhh". She kisses and hug her toys and sometimes her food or her spoon. The whole hugging lasagna can get pretty crazy. She pets sherpa and hugs his huge head. He puts up with it, but I know he secretly is glad that she can interact with him in a loving way. Mostly, they just played tug of war until she started in with the love touches.

baby e and her pa snuggling on the sofa

On Tuesday, we hung around the house waiting for gravel to be delivered for the driveway. Promised by 11am, finally delivered by 2pm with MUCH drama. If you need a recommendation on a stone center to avoid doing business with, I would be happy to tell you of one! In more happy news, I did get a phone call from an old friend who I had hoped to hear from after reconnecting at my 10 year high school reunion. A took baby e out for a little gift shopping that evening. I stayed home to catch up on some reading for a certification I am currently working on. We watched a scary movie about a plane, kid-napping and psychotic people later that night. Baby e did not nurse to sleep for one of the few times in her life. She fell asleep snuggled up beside me on my arm. Soooo freakin precious!

Happy Birthdays and E Free Lunch

Last Friday we skipped playgroup b/c neither babe nor mama were feeling very well. Sadly, we also missed out on our nomadic rock star mama friend and her 23 month old babe. We did eventually muster up the strength to do some grocery and gift shopping. Admittedly, I was fueled by starsucks soy latte.

Friday was the birthday of a dear friend so we had dinner to celebrate with many of her good friends. We got to meet her sister, finally! We especially enjoyed our company at the end of the table. E was totally bored. The restaurant is not exactly the most toddler friendly place. Although, we did have a brunch for her their after her baby dedication at church. Irony. The chef's name is Thor and I got to thank him on Friday for putting together a vegetarian fest back in the Spring for e's brunch. The manager (perhaps?) did spend some time trying to entertain e; he has two young children of his own. There is a nice little secluded area in the back with chairs and sofas. E and i snuck away to this area and she got some mama's milk. We did not get to attend the after party dance b/c we had to attend another birthday party in town!

This one was a surprise party but we showed up late enough to not ruin the surprise part. This birthday woman turned 30 and is well on her way to making one of the coolest babes around. The babe is on the inside right now and growing strong, finally letting mama eat some food and keep it down. Yay for that!!! Her hubby planned out the evening so well. He actually sent out a map with words on it saying "park on this street" and "don't park on this street". Pretty impressive! He also gifted her with a piano in hopes of passing on music appreciation beyond his own musical genetics, perhaps. The highlight of the night for me was meeting birthday woman's dad. He is pretty much incredible and I am not the only person I know who looks up to him. He was modest, thoughtful and kind. I asked him to come to our church and teach and he said, "Sure, just send me an e-mail. My address is...". Freakin wow. Birthday girl's mom is pretty impressive, too. She gave birth to her babe breech and is a natural living woman. Are you as impressed as I am? Yes, their daughter is equally as amazing...how could you not be with parents like that? E enjoyed chasing Margot the dog around and being a little toddler. She drake water out of a cup and managed to spill most of it on her peace sign dress.

Saturday morning I was still feeling sick and had practically lost my voice the night before. So, I rested and read most of the day. Even though I fought it for a while, I took a nap in the early evening. We went to the holiday party of our friends/neighbor's. We got to meet so much of their families; families that we have heard a lot about over the years. It was such a joy. Towards the end of the evening, someone brought out the hard stuff. I have not had a drop of liquor in almost two years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding a babe. Although i did not intend to partake, i was strong armed into it and encouraged by someone's mother (of five kids, the oldest being my age) that it was perfectly okay, my daughter would even benefit from it. Who can argue with a mother of five practically adult children? Not me, you see. I pretty much had to do it at that point.

On Sunday, I made fresh squeezed orange juice, coffee and vegan sausage burritos. Yummy in the tummy! E ate some vegan sausage and tortilla with guacamole. Since we slept in, we went to the second service at church. We heard a talk about the magnicant (sp?) where an angel appears to tell mary she has been chosen to give birth, elizabeth and mary talk when mary arrives and stay for three months. I saw a movie about this recently so it was fresh in my head visually.

After talking to some fellow mama friends and changing our babes cloth diapers together to the tune of ryan adams (dedicated to e by building boy j), we drove home to wait for my mother-in-law (mil). She comes to visit rather often on the weekends. Since e was sleeping and we still had not eaten, we proposed that mil hang with e while mama and dada went out for lunch and some grocery shopping. MIL is really excited about us letting her watch e alone and wants us to get out more by ourselves. Sunday afternoon was the second time since e's birth that we have gone out without e. We don't mind her coming with us at all; we actually prefer it. It has not been a burden or a struggle to include her in our family life. Building a strong attachment by avoiding frequent and prolonged separation has been very important to us, as parents. Having said all of that, we barely knew what to do without baby e around. We started by sampling wine at the grocery store then buying and uncorking a whole bottle of it. No, we didn't drink the whole bottle. B/c we share our food and try to be good examples, we are pretty aware of what foods are on our plate. Therefore, I totally bought a vegan chocolate chip cookie and a vegan peanut butter cookie! Does it get any better than wine and cookies in the middle of the day?

Baby e survived well. We met up with a's work partners for a beer in downtown. Baby e wandered around in the little couch area that we barricaded for her safety and our sanity. She ate vegetarian chili, hummus and pita. Someone there gifted her with a fancy pocket size etch-a-sketch that resembles a pda. I wrapped it in tissue paper and put it in her stocking when we got home. Harr haaa.

Don't Drink the Kool Aid

Today, we started the morning off right by driving through starsucks for a soy latte while talking on the cell phone, and asking to make sure they take the plastic money. Yeah, I could not have felt any more american than that, I doubt. For the american cherry on top, I was running late.

We were on our way to one of my fave places. We still drive to those meetings in another town b/c they were our peeps for a full year, even before we were a true "we"...back when baby e was on the inside. Those ladies helped me get through some tough stuff, specifically my doula extraordinare who runs this website and makes cools shirts like the one baby e wore today. At least two people asked where I got it. At the grocery store, i chatted with a mom about pacifiers. After telling her that e never really got attached to one, she glanced at baby e's shirt and said, "I guess she found something else to suck on." Yeah, mom.

Today's meeting was interesting as they all usually are. I loved how a preggo had a bunch of questions and those got answered with complete disregard to the agenda. In case anyone did want to follow the agenda, a leader asked if there were any questions about it. Honestly, I need to work on my own struggle to stick to agendas and follow them meticulously. I also need to work on not exploding inside every time I hear someone talking about giving their baby or young child cow's milk to drink.

Additionally, let's all consider what options there are for young children when it comes to beverages. Breastmilk is clearly the best choice. Human milk for human babies. Water would be a great choice. Water with ice cubes could be really fun, I mean, for at least a year. Then, water in a fun cup would entertain them for at least another year. You've just bought at least three years of time before you have to give in to fluid like red dyed sugar, uh, I mean fruit punch. Anyone ever researched what red dye is all about anyway? Please let me know if you do, I am just curious.

After that, we went to lunch. We ate spaghetti and red dye. Just kidding we drank water. And, shaved our heads b/c we are now living like monks with all this water we are drinking. Geesh. Baby e played around with some other kids of moms that we were eating red dye with. There were some other fams there who we did not know. Guess that's what happens in public places and all. Anyway, one mother seemed to be super concerned that I wasn't walking up the soft plastic stairs with baby e. I helped her concern by telling her that baby e has been walking for about a month now (which may not have been clear by baby e putting her feet in front of each other in this mother's presence) and she climbs our wooden staircase at home every day. I do calculus and read philosophy books (all right, that's actually true!) while following her up the stairs. But, she wasn't believing me and called CPS anyway. When Liz, the CPS worker got there, we hung out and drank red dye in our beers together to toast our old time as fellow social workers. The mother was more outraged.

After lunch, we went to the grocery store for tofu, eggplant, water (no joke!), wine, OJ, cabbage, rice and spaghetti sauce. The boy child who helped load my groceries said twice, "I hope your husband's at home to help you unload this water." Sorry, kid, he wasn't. I actually had to use my weaker sex muscles to carry them in with a baby on my other hip. I wasn't barefoot, thankfully.

After drinking more water, i read while baby love took a nap. We drove to spend time with friends tonight. After voting, we chose to discuss Hanukkah and agnosticism vs. atheism. You know, basic wed night stuff.

Is Puppy #4 busy tonight?

She's just not sure about this really tall guy.
Okay, so we are almost caught up all your friends out in onlineland. I love that you all are reading about this stuff. It's really fun! Pictures are truly more fun so I will try to keep that in mind as i post. I am taking my camera with me and inspired by auntie bl, just taking pics everywhere of everything. Wait, is that even possible? I am no g wood.

Last night, our dear friend from LU came for a little visit. It was too brief but hey, we take what we can get of some fla-jesse time.
Ridiculously tall people.

Andy is sad that someone is taller than he. Ezra is in disbelief about it.

He has really grown up since becoming big biz. He is about a foot or so taller than a, which makes him almost 8 and a half feet. It's crazy, really to be around someone that tall. And, I thought that Ducharme was tall! Andy had to stand on a chair just to be the same height.

Andy standing on the table to catch up in height. Hey Shan-n, when did these dudes get so skinny, by the way?

We ate some great indian food at our fave indian place in town! If I keep this blog up, you all will realize that we eat there pretty much every week. They are too good to us. Fla-jesse is full of laughs. We were happy to hear he is having a good run right now. I only miss that his whole fam damaly could not come down to join us.

"what is up with this tall guy's face, mom? are you sure he's fla-cool?"