down home

EDD

November 25th is the date that will stay in my heart and head forever. There is nothing that could erase it, I hope. When I was pregnant, I thought about that date so many times. Over and over, I would tell people who asked or just dream about her coming in my head. I wasn't even so attached to the date, even. I knew that babes come when they are ready. To some people, I would just say I was due around the end of November. It's just such a precious month, a precious number next to the month. My little E bear decided to come weeks before November 25th, gently into our house, she slid into the hands of our midwife. I do remember pushing (a total of twice!) and lifting her up to my body. What I do not recall were my first words to her. My mother-in-law heard me and later told me that I kept repeating, "I love you, baby. I love you, baby. I love you, baby." And, oh, how I do love that baby.

For months, we've been trying to agree on whether or not she is still a baby. I am thoroughly convinced that she will always be a baby, my baby no matter how much she grows. We laugh bunches during these talks. My heart clenched in my chest as I know she has already grow up so much...she is strong and kind and a really compassionate friend. She lets me know if she gets overwhelmed and she shares joy with me. She tells me how much she loves the snow but really does not like...hmmmnn...to do anything until she is ready to do it. Wow, I had to pause for a while to think of what it is that she really doesn't like. This morning, she didn't like the almonds in her oatmeal for quite a while but she came around to eating a whole bowl full with no prodding from me, really. She surprises me like that. Sometimes she won't budge on a certain food, piece of clothing, sharing her carseat, leaving somewhere, but then other times, she just will decide she's okay with almonds in her oatmeal, striped pants, saying goodbye to a friend or having a talk with her sister about the carseats. It amazes me how flexible she can be and I truly appreciate this aspect of being her mom.

Looking back to her first month of life, I can see that she adapted well to the outside the womb world rather well even then. It couldn't have been easy to be sooo tiny and learn to breathe and eat and all that jazz. But she thrived. She never needed needles or doctors or artificial baby formulas. She became so into reading and so verbal at a young age that it shocked us; it still does shock us daily! And, her heart is just so pure. She's so much like her dad and I in some of our best ways (like the two above details). We will forever celebrate her birth, her life, even her EDD. In my deep heart place, I so hope that she will always share her life with us as it feels ours would be amiss without her right in the middle of it.

$2400 in 24 hours

did you see that i am doing a fundraiser today for the birth center in bali where i volunteer? not sleeping for 24 hours to raise $2400 by midnight. could you help me buy them a doppler? log onto my facebook page to give, please! we are only half way there and have 3 hours left!

korea

getting a little bit thoughtful about this place called korea. we've flown through, have friends from there and i even participated in a name exchange with two korean friends years ago. the only two phrases that i know how to say are "i love you" and "hello". we should then, right?

Vist Korea!

Hear Ina May Speak for Free

Ina May's Talks are on youtube available for us to watch and hear or just to listen to as we crochet in our homes. How kind.

Ina May is Coming to Town

She will be hosting a workshop on Shoulder Dystocia and Breech Birth.

A Bunch O' Births

Outside of the front office doors, midwives from various countries, nurses and staff pose alongside a group of babies that were born within about 48 hours of each other at Yayasan Bumi Sehat. Pictured in the center is the birth center's founding midwife, Robin Lim with midwife Katherine Bramhall to her left. Katherine volunteers her time raising funds and awareness for Bumi between Vermont and Bali.

cord burning

"Recently Robin has begun to teach midwives how to burn the umbilical cord, rather than cutting it, in order to prevent infection in less than sterile environments. This oddly beautiful practice--using a little piece of cardboard and a candle-- is a gift from Chinese medicine. It is both soothing to the baby (who usually falls asleep during the procedure) and completely safe and sterile."

the bali birth center

Have you brought an empty doko?

by Martha Carlough.

The community health staff of United Mission to Nepal’s Okhaldhunga Health Project began new work in four villages last year. These villages were chosen carefully, based on a balance of needs and resources in the communities.

What were we offering?

Over a period of nine months, we spent much time and effort getting to know the communities, using participatory rural appraisal (PRA) methods. Small teams of staff worked in each village: mapping resources, prioritising needs, interviewing informants and building rapport with the community. We gained lots of information. We helped villagers recognise their own strengths. Community members seemed enthused and committed to working with us. Yet as I sat at a closing ceremony where results of the PRA were being shared, a village woman asked me why we had brought an empty doko to her village. Were we, like those who had surveyed in other places, just filling our own baskets and notebooks? Just what were we offering that would make a difference in the village, and why had we not made that clear from the beginning?

What did we want?

Following the basic principles of PRA, our staff had tried very hard not to take over the process of prioritising and planning. We listened to community voices, collected data, and organised ideas. But while doing this, we had not clearly talked about what we were willing to do, and what the future of the partnership between the community health staff and the village could be like. We had brought only an empty doko. Participation is much more than a set of tools, or a democratic process of empowerment. Participation is partnership. We all come with agendas that need to be made clear, discussed, and are open to change as we link hands to work with communities.

Participatory rural appraisal has become a key component of all kinds of development work. It is a stamp of approval that the work is ‘bottom up’, democratic and empowering. But agendas are still often developed outside communities and PRA serves to raise expectations that can’t be met within the limitations of staff and funding in the programmes we work for.

The agenda of Jesus

As Christians in development, we have agendas. We cannot pretend otherwise. Jesus Christ had an agenda in his dealings with people. He met them where their needs were – with physical healing, food and water, words for personal growth – but his ultimate agenda was to direct them towards salvation. Jesus practised PRA as he empowered people to recognise their own needs and gifts and to partner with him. He performed community diagnosis and determined where and when his words would be most effectively utilised – in the marketplace, in the synagogue, by the lakeside. He did not offer an empty doko, and neither should we. It would be wise to follow his example in being open about what we stand for, and what we can offer. Our challenge as Christians involved in health and development, and engaged in participatory work, is to be clear about what we believe and can offer, while at the same time addressing needs, identifying strengths and partnering with communities for sustainable change.

Martha Carlough is the Project Director of the Okhaldhunga Health Project. Her address is United Mission to Nepal, PO Box 126, Kathmandu, Nepal.

Happy 4th Birthday!

Crafty Advice on How to Make This

I would love to make these as favors for E's upcoming 4th Birthday party. They shouldn't be too hard, right? How can I get started? I have some peace fleece roving and embroidery thread. Any offers to come tutor me?

Birth In Nepal

We Know How to Do These Things: Birth In a Newar Village

click here to preview this film

by Barbara Johnson, with support from the Smithsonian Institution Human Studies Film Archives
color, 40 min, 1997

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For these villagers, giving birth is a family affair; while a young girl is in labor, the birth attendant, mother and mother-in-law alternate between lending a hand and story telling. Barbara Johnson studied documentary film and photography with Jerry Liebling and Elaine Mayes at Hampshire College from 1970-1974. She began working for the Smithsonian's newly formed National Anthropological Film Center in 1975. She was sent to Nepal to document early childhood socialization and daily life in a large farming village in the Kathmandu Valley. One of the Film Center's solo research filmmakers, she lived in this village for 15 months in 1978 and 1980. The 50 hours of sync-sound 16mm film which she shot in Nepal are part of the Smithsonian's Human Studies Film Archives. We Know How To Do These Things is made from the last hour of film she shot in Nepal.

Film Festivals, Screenings, Awards
Margaret Mead Film Festival, NYC 1997
Royal Anthropological Institute Basil Wright Prize nominee 1998
Berlin Ethnographic Film Festival, 1999
Women in the Directors Chair Film Festival, 1999

happy birthday, river!

So VERY glad to hear that Staci had her HBAC with little baby River. I got to know Staci, a midwife (who works at The Farm in Tennessee with Ina May) when she led a training for aspiring midwives in the next city over from me. It was an awesome four days of learning. We got to hear how Staci was planning a HBAC with this babe in the womb. So glad to hear that he was born into loving hands at home.

Bali Birth Center

Monday, June 1, 2009

Bumi Sehat

Two and half weeks after our first meeting with Ebu Jane (Fund raising director at Bumi Sehat) we were finally able to see Bumi Sehat in action. Bumi Sehat is a non-profit NGO that provides "Gentle Births for a Peaceful Future." It provides completely free care to all mothers and their children because cheap and good pre and post natal care is hard to come by on the island of Bali.

Two of the focuses on our trip to Indonesia are ecology and health care. Due to the recent change from Balinese red and brown rice to GMO (genetically modified) white rice has caused malnutrition in both mothers and babies. This ultimately led to increaseing maternal mortality and less healthy birth outcomes. This staple food of the people stopped providing pregnant women with all the nutrients necessary to sustain healthy pregnancies.

Unlike the US, Bumi Sehat's patients have a 100% breast feeding rate. Breast feeding provides the baby with all of the essential nutrients at next to no cost. Many doctors in Indonesian (and US) hospitals present formula as an ideal option for mothers, for many formula companies offer incentives. Not only does this place an unneeded cost on the family, but the lack of clean and sterile water in Bali causes even more sickness and mortality for children.

Bumi Sehat practices gentle birthing. They believe that violence at birth leads to a violent life and therefore should be avoided. They allow the women to choose the way in which they birth (50% water births) to decrease pain and drug use. They do not perform any vacuum births, circumcisions, or epidurals. Another thing attached to violent births is the clamping and cutting of the umbilical cord and placenta. Many of the baby's blood is still in the placenta upon birth and an immediate clamp and cut depletes the baby of these needed nutrients. Bumi Sehat practices delayed clamp and cuts as well as lotus births (where the placenta naturally falls off in 3-4 days). This clinic also does not separate the mom from the child like many American and Indonesian hospitals do.

Our group was impressed with the cleanliness and proactive attitudes of the clinic staff. They truly wanted what was best for the mother and child regardless of common practices and western ideals. This kind of clinic is the ideal but hard to come by in the states. Many women are not aware of gentle birthing and the clamp and cut procedures. They see the norm and assume that it is whats best, while Bumi Sehat functions to provide the best care as shown through OB/GYN research. Bali's low socio economic status citizens have a tendency to want to deliver their children at home because they cannot afford a hospital or puskesmas (public health clinic). Bumi Sehat offers completely free care which we could see made a huge impact. Unfortunately because of Bali's health care system, the directors of Bumi Sehat feel that it would not be appropriate to advertise. They see that they cannot change the system so they work around it in order to provide the best care.

from here.

a smancy wedding

the lovebirds.

just a little bear.

a little bear with her dada. they both choose pink.

yes, i could kiss her cheeks and squeeze her arms all day long.

can you tell that we are thrilled? we are! now, smancy are finally united in holy matrimony at our dear outer banks. we've been camping with smancy for about 4 years on the outer banks now. we threw around the idea of them actually getting married there. it was awesome to see it actually come true, all those dreams we had over a fire at the cape hatteras national seashore or on ocracoke. lovely.

they are a light unto my path.

all pictures were taken by my friend, bob witchger who is an amazing photographer and musician and husband and gardener and artist...among other things. feels like yesterday that we were at HIS wedding!

newish dinosaurs @ museum of life and science

mama on tour

hey, when did you learn to play the drums? i thought you liked the keys? lots of love, little mama.

blueberry picking

more botanical gardens

botanical gardens

lilly pad gazing

three girl pile up

storytime on the logs

letting baby sherpa have some space without a leash

introductions...a truce?

candle dipping at williamsburg

Last Spring, we went to the May Faire at our local Waldorf school. It's so much fun each year but this year was especially awesome because ez really enjoyed making a hand-dipped beeswax candle. We circled around a table alternating between wax and cold water dipping a string between each tub of liquid. On our recent trip to Williamsburg, she got to dip some candles just to color them.

We are looking at the dye color options.

My mom likes a certain candle company store, or should i say 'experience'? the place is huge with a changing sky and snowfall within one part of the compound that houses christmas decor. There is a coupon book full of crazy tourist trap stuff. Well, dipping candles is free with a coupon! Totally free. We were even encouraged (by an employee!) to tear out more coupons from the books at the front door if we wanted to do a couple of candles. Fabulous.

while listening to the instructions, we were very focused.

the first dip. don't you love the guy's face in the background, too? i thought about cutting it out but it really captures delight at watching a focused child learn and create. we could all use a little more joy like that.

the person behind the counter was so patient, kind and considerate with ez. it made me very grateful.

she chose her favorite color, purple! my mom looks on proudly. she was sooooo glad to share the whole weekend with us.

a bali baby

when we were in bali, i worked very closely with a nurse unlike any nurse i had ever seen. here is a picture on one of my last days at the clinic. a second later he told me that it's bad luck to take a picture with only two people. i had no idea and feel kinda bad b/c it was me that asked if i could have a picture.

somehow, he was capable of doing more in a day than i ever thought possible. he was always present to help in any way. i cannot tell you all how many times i thought, "why is he doing that? isn't that somebody else's job?" this nurse had skills but was not proud, at all. he smiled a lot and really seemed to enjoy his job...or jobs. he would start an IV and work to manage a severe post-partum hemmorage. he would do nipple stimulation until the mom's contractions were steady and she was pushing. one day, i even watched him clean out the fish pond! he always sterilized instruments after a birth. he would clean the tubs quickly after the water births. he would gather flowers for the moms while they labored in the tub; these flowers where then placed on top of the connected placenta in the bowl where it rested next to the babe and mom as the wee one nursed for the first time.

well, this amazing person became a father earlier this spring. His wife was so taken care of in labor, i will bet you. congratulations, mimi and liman!

From the Bumi Sehat newsletter:

"Mimi, our dear translator spent three days and nights in labor. Another mom comes in and has her second baby very quickly. Her first had been born at Bumi Sehat in the early days following the Tsunami, when our clinic was but a shack.

Finally Mimi’s courage and determination pay off, she and Liman have a beautiful daughter born at Bumi Sehat. They named her Talitha Nadif Halilah Wijaya. I felt like my time in Aceh was complete… I had delivered the baby of my loyal staff, this baby is like a granddaughter to me.

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Bumi staff nurse Liman proudly planting a mango tree along with his newborn daughter’s placenta."

williamsburg

it's august?

Clearly, we have been busy little bees. Often, hubby and I wonder when life will slooowwwwww dooowwwwwwwnnnnnn for us.

We joined a new homeschool co-op last month that meets once a week at a cabin on 7 acres for wide open play.
We go on some sort of field trip (from bowling to the chocolate exhibit at a local museum) once a week, as well. There are about 14 families which split the days of the week that they come to the cabin so it doesn't get too crowded.

It's been fabulous for us all. The girls are having fun and I find myself growing emotionally by being part of the group.
We've wanted to join this awesome group of people for almost two years now!

We drove up to Williamsburg, VA for my mom's birthday. We had a blast at the water park there. The bear was so brave; she wanted to climb up all the kid slides again and again. She really enjoyed sliding down and landing in the water. People kept asking how old she was. Both she and her sister enjoyed seeing Granny J so much!!! They love that lady in a way that I never imagined my children would. It's so healing and redemptive to see those three together; they definately have the love bubble around them. We went out for italian food and the accordian player sang songs to my mom as they gifted her with dessert. So much fun. Somehow, we still haven't mailed her gift, yet!

A midwife from The Farm in TN came to Peace Tree Village for a workshop. I spent 4 days learning midwifery skills on a very introductory and broad level. It was fabulously inspiring. The women I sat with became dear friends or dearer friends. I am stoked to have lots more learning and training as I pursue the practice of midwifery. Yes, folks, it is officially time for me to go for it! Our state needs more midwives and I want to be one of them. It will still be a long road before i am certified but I am glad to finally be very intentional about walking that road.

Hubby and I celebrated 11 years of marriage this month! We are so thankful to have made it through all the storms and trials to be met with joy and happiness over and over, again. Our love for each other is strong, clearly.

off to brush their teeth...more later

i will wait with you.

just waiting on a baby...waiting for that phone call that spikes adrenaline through my entire being and has me tearing through the house for water, a snack, my doula bag then jumping into the jeep. peace and excitement mingle as i drive to their house or wherever they plan on giving birth. love it.

i was thinking about how my doula clients wait, wait, wait on their babies to come. it can be challenging when they see the calender days pass that were indicators their pregnancy would come to a close as they pushed a babe into their arms. they often wait for labor to progress before they call me. everyone is waiting for the bags of waters to break. their whole families wait to hear news of pounds and ounces. their good friends wait for pictures to be uploaded to a blog. there is a lot of waiting.

but, today, i was thinking about how i wait, also which is something i had not thought a lot about. i get to go through the process of waiting on labor signals with them. it's hard not knowing what is happening; i like to be in the midst of the action with my clients. i like to assure them that it's okay to wait but i like to hear and see what it going on with them.

i am learning patience and trust just like they are...through waiting. what a gift to have a job where i am still learning such important values as patience. what an honor to get to do this over and over, again with wonderful families. i am so thankful that they invite me into their moments.

see you soon, precious child!

spoons

the fort couch

what a month June has been!

we are just so busy.

swimming.

visiting friends.

picking blueberries down the road.

tracing our bodies with chalk on the deck.

celebrating a much wanted pregnancy with our dear friends (with bux's EDD)!

having the flu.

ushering a long black snake out of our house after ez spotted it.

farmer's marketing.

jumping on our pull out couch.

going to birthday pool parties that include locopops.

painting on the little picnic table outside.

bowling.

not eating sugar.

maxing out how many library books we can check out (50).

learning to chart.

deeply appreciating our next door neighbors.

not wearing clothes.

watching our garden grow.

learning empathy (aka having thrush).

stacking firewood from fallen trees on our land.

eating coconut milk ice cream.

celebrating a much anticipated pragnancy with a dear friend (due on my birthday, even)!

camping at the OBX.

buying christmas and birthday gifts way too early b/c of huge sales.

enrolling ez in nursing school. (she desperately wants to go to va. tech and cried for a hour last night b/c we could not drive to blacksburg. somehow, they agreed to enroll her via distance education. she's learning to take temps this week.)

listening to bands at duke gardens.

feeding ourselves with spoons and forks and our hands.

planning to miss our law school bound friend.

making posicles.

picking blackberries from our backyard and raspberries from our front yard.

falling in love with nikki mcclure, again.

studying midwifery.

visiting church every once in a while.

dreaming of bali.

catching and releasing mice.

awaiting our trip to water country usa with my mom! (we got 25% off coupons at the library today! so awesome.)

re-connecting with BSW friends.

welcoming my 'big brother' to the neighborhood!

planting and planting.

picking up new words each week.

seeing the movies "cheaper by the dozen" 1 and 2.

eating garden fresh foods.

laughing in the bed late at night with ez about what to name our next (not in my body, yet) babe.

applying sunscreen and bug spray.

overhearing frogs.

cheering on the bulls.

researching which woodstove to by for the winter.

keeping my phone close for the two babies who are coming soon.

oh, leslie!

this time last year, martha and i were hanging with feist after a great show in g-boro.

dreams

today, some of my nightmares came true. really, they did. i have had a couple of nightmares in anticipation of today and today played out in a way that was similar to them.

then, tonight i spent the evening with fabulous women watching an important (if not confusing) movie about birth in america.

made me realize that i need to pursue my positive dreams instead of giving time, energy, money and brain power to something other than what i am truly passionate about.