my friend, the boy

When I was in 6th grade, I became friends with this other 6th grade kid that was kinda short and stocky.  I think he had a too big black leather jacket, even.  He was funny and charming.  A lot happened over the next 7 years until we lost touch.  He grew up strong and successful.  He was the all american boy.  Wow, did he help me through some rough times.  And, I was told more than once that I was killing his buzz trying to help him through is own rough times when they finally hit.  Man, our senior year was a rough one missing out on his presence.  He'd gotten into trouble with some dangerous stuff and I wasn't the only one super worried about him.  But, goodness was I ever grateful for the stubborn determined friend I had found.  And, years later, when we reconnected, again it was to my great joy.  What a relief to sit in his living room with his family and see him happy, hilarious and cocky as ever. 

at our 10 yr high school reunion

Yesterday afternoon we were talking on the phone about how his oldest son is 15 years old, about the same age we were when my friend got his white Mustang with blue seats that he dubbed, "Bessie".  He cherished that car.  He'd drive me home or out to meet friends from our first job at the mall sophomore year.  I always felt bad for the time we were driving out to a wrestling meet in another county and I handed him his juice.  Well, he shook it up, not realizing that I had already done that and taken the lid off.  We stopped on some country road and he popped the trunk for a roll of paper towels.  What 16 year old boy keeps paper towels in his trunk to clean the car?  He totally took care of that dear car.

Before Bessie, there was a time that I remember his own dad struggling through a cancer diagnosis.  I remember standing on the sidewalk in middle school trying to hand him a book I had just read about a boy whose dad had cancer.  My friend acted tough and said he's already read it.  Then, we walked to the cafeteria in silence. 

He warned me about certain guys when he had little respect for their locker room talk.  He let me borrow a comfy sweatshirt and watch lame comedies at his house when I didn't listen and ended up brokenhearted.  He found love in an older girl for a good chunk of our high school years and she was kind to me all the while probably wondering why he and I were friends.  Being opposite sex friends for so many of our vulnerable growing up years could have been really confusing but I think we navigated it well.  What sticks out to me more is how ultimately I felt supported and encouraged from a friend through the years even as we took time to pursue our own friendships or dating.  For about 6 years, I always knew he'd call to chat or listen as I blabbered on about my latest crush, how much my mom sucked and we'd catch up. 

he is so blessed to have an amazing wife!

This dear one is having surgery today after being diagnosed with colon cancer.  Having celebrated our birthdays less than 2 weeks apart for so long, it's crazy to think we are this young and he's in the hospital this week!  It's a rare issue for someone our age to have.  But, that is not helping the flood of memories and emotions that are coming with this.  Emailing with his amazing wife, texting, and talking to him on the the phone today has really been encouraging.  He's so optimistic and positive.  So strong and hopeful.  He's also realistic and ready to face whatever is coming from this.  I see that same determination and respect from high school wrestling days all over, again.  He's got his game face on.  It's incredible and heartbreaking and gut wrenching. 

the day our girls met each other

Aren't we 12...walking the middle school halls and getting dropped off at movies by our parents with groups of other awkward 7th graders?  Aren't we 14, starting high school with him wrestling Varsity already and me feeling left behind already...until he encourages me to be their manager and score keeper?  Or, 16 and getting our first jobs at the place his big brother works then helping our friends get jobs with us, partying and then heading down separate paths to date people?  Wasn't it yesterday that we were 18, a worried me and a lost him?  I know it's been a long time since he came to SURPRISE visit me in college and I was out on a date b/c I am now married to that man I was on the date with.  Last night, I cried in that man's arms as I told him silly stories of growing up and he understood.  He has cared for my friend as our families have spent time together.  We are parents to little girls born within the same year.  Yesterday, we asked each other over and over, how did that happen so quickly? 

When did we grow up and have to face cancer?