Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Birth Dream


One of the midwives that i worked alongside in Bali has committed to fund raising for Bumi Sehat (the name of the birth center where we worked). She continues to travel to Bali from the US to volunteer as a midwife, also. You can check out the work that she is doing here.

The goal is to raise a million dollars. Yes, that is a lot of money! You can imagine all of the important, life savign work that can be accomplished when a million dollars is donated. If you have been reading my blog for the past 13 months, then you know what a fabulous place Bumi Sehat is b/c you read my posts about it.
You read about how hard the staff of murses, midwives, pediatricians, reiki masters, accupuncturists, receptionists, drivers and admin staff work to help women give birth with respect and love through their professional help. It is no small feat what they pull off on a daily basis. The founder of the clinic, Robin Lim is the hardest working woman i may have ever met with no task too menial of grand for her attention. After all the heartbreaking things that she sees, her compassion is still strong. Somehow she has not been beat down by the atrocities that have occured to the people of her island. From tsunami to women being hog-tied in labor, she has restored dignity, hope and life! She truly bring LIFE.

Last night, I had a dream that i gave birth to a large girl with darker hair that looked neatly washed right after she was born. I gave birth to her lying on one of the beds in a room at Bumi Sehat. It was just Robin and I there and she caught my babe. There was a lot more to the dream which i remember vividly. Hubby woke up as i did from the dream and i said, "i just had the best dream." he was like, "really? you never say that." I usually have scary nightmares where someone is trying to chase me or hurt me or actually does hurt me. So, this was a welcome respite last night. I am still trying to process what the dream i had last night means for me. But I have an idea that it strongly has to do with the call of midwifery on my life. If you know me, you know I take this call VERY seriously and it's not something that I feel ready to enter into right now.

I love attending women in labor and birth. I enjoy talking with them to prepare for it and to process it after it happens. But, being the primary caregiver all full of responsibility and on call willing to drop everything for a client...that just doesn't seem to work for my life right now. It wouldn't be fair to my family or my clients to pursue midwifery full force at this point.

After my intense dream, it seems that i need to re-evaluate what i am being called to do in regards to midwifery. i want to really consider what it would mean to pursue midwifery education. it's hard to be in limbo about it. it's hard to have pursued attending births then needing to pull out of that (for a variety of reasons).

The experience i had at Bumi Sehat was so rich; I long for it, again. I want to make it work. So, I am committing to a season of seeking through prayer, research, meditation, discussion with other birth professionals and open dialouge with my family and friends.
I have all these questions like...what am I supposed to do...or not do? Comments and prayers requested!

Friday, August 15, 2008

typical play time

having a ball.
while you can check out soulemama's blog via the link to the right, i especially want to point out this recent post by soulepapa. i totally fear forgetting. it's one reason i take pictures so often and keep a journal and a blog. it's one of the reasons why i wept at "the notebook" for hours.
watermelon is a perfect first foods.
this is pretty much what it's all about.
and, a little bit of this, too.
yes, she likes to play with a calculator. anything i should be worried about? social sciences, e. social. sciences.
that ball totally deflated after everyone left my house.
mainly b/c i was kicking it "really hard" per t's request.
brothers.
and their other brother.
"would you please draw my breastfeeder?"
i love how she jumped first and i caught a bit of it on camera.
this makes me wonder just like soulepapa if they will be friends forever. i deeply hope they will and that i will get to be forever friends with their parents.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

cool room

i like the nature inspired room here. i really like the little "mouse house" toy that the girls are playing with on the floor. It's totally cloth...yay for no plastics.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

mamacita and slings are in!

This is the pendant on my necklace that my women made for me at my mother's blessing in early february before the bear was born. a bead like this from mamacita beadworks was my very first etsy shop purchase ever! she makes gorgeous items.
this is what she looks like from behind
i actually gasped out loud when i saw this precious bird.
here is the new and improved mamacita with her hand aware. here is what mamacita says about her works, "All my artwork has been designed and cast by my own two hands. I sculpt, mold, cast, grind and polish each piece. All my little beads and buttons are well loved. Due to the handcrafted nature of my work, there will be slight variations on each piece. That's what I call the good stuff. The lovin'." fabulous.
wise mama with a tree blooming up her back. when women are in labor, a red line rises up the middle of their backs, just like this one. it correlates to about how many centimeters they are dilated. when my midwife got to my house during my labor with e, she could tell i was about 6cm by looking at this line. we tried to take a picture of it but it didn't turn out so clear. it was great to get an idea of how far along i was without having to get undressed, have an internal exam or move from hands and knees which was my fave position at that moment.

*GOOD NEWS* The larger Hemp Organic slings are at my house now plus a sage green color! Size 7 in the Natural color, Size 6 and Size 7 in the Parisian Blue color and Size 7 in Sage Green are all here for you. Just let me know if you are interested. They all come with an instructional DVD and a cool little loop for attaching your keys.

driving, blommin and partyin

the little sister's first ride in a car with her big sister.
making sure she doesn't fall out or over.
sitting up on her own about a month ago.
handmade dress from bali with fabric she picked out on her own.
the living room in the backyard.
what's this i see?
it's a bench placed on the border of my neighbor's yard to share with us. they are the best neighbors ever!
read between the lines
our water barrel makes the crate under it bulge b/c it's so full.
dog and sungolds.
3 loaves of zucchini bread so far and countless pasta primaveras.
green peppers bloomed
thai peppers on the way
getting ready for their october party.
leaf on my head!

We had a great time at our Ten Year Anniversary party on sunday night. Thank you all for coming to wish us well into the next decade. We still have to make it till sunday to be officially married for ten years but we are on our way!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

humblebea

Humblebea at etsy made these super cute skirts and shoes. I gotta keep a tight reign on my spending b/c i could buy so many things from them...like everything you see below!

elephant skirt b/c i like all things elephant
forest friends booties for the baby.
a doe, a deer, a female deer we have been singing around here lately

more hearts and more love, essentially. b/c clothes say "love" better than anything else.