should i stay or should i go?

we are going back and forth in our minds about an opportunity to be in bali, again starting this summer. we need some things to fall into place, again like our house rented and selling our biodeisel jeep. i am trying not to get stressed about it and everything else that still needs my daily attention but it's hard for me. i wish that i was not a worry-er. one thing that seems to calm me down these days is staring at the nova natural catalog! it's just so calming.

there is so much that we love about being in bali. we enjoy the ease of life, in general there. the birth center is such a welcoming place to enter full of energy but peace, as well. the organic, vegetarian food is fresh, delicious, inexpensive, often delivered to one's doorstep and wholesome. eating out works even with kids bouncing around due to the balinese respect for children. there is a yoga center and a tailor across the street from the birth center, as well as a corner market and an open field just down the road. swimming pools, a spa to get massages, restaraunts, a forest full of monkeys all dot the street. the midwives who run the brith center truly mothered me when i was there with them last time; they taught me about midwifery and myself. they cared for my entire family, even buxton who was still inside at the time. i long to introduce her to them earthside now. i want to relax into the atmosphere there while being able to learn at the same time. i want to live out of a backpack with less in oru house. i want the girls to run around in the grass; i want e to see her old friends, again. i want my hubby to enjoy swimming, riding bikes, taking long walks, talking with his friends and drinking fresh squeezed juices. he loves the adventure of travel. there is so much to set into place here just to get there that it feels like it may not happen right now though.