EDD

November 25th is the date that will stay in my heart and head forever. There is nothing that could erase it, I hope. When I was pregnant, I thought about that date so many times. Over and over, I would tell people who asked or just dream about her coming in my head. I wasn't even so attached to the date, even. I knew that babes come when they are ready. To some people, I would just say I was due around the end of November. It's just such a precious month, a precious number next to the month. My little E bear decided to come weeks before November 25th, gently into our house, she slid into the hands of our midwife. I do remember pushing (a total of twice!) and lifting her up to my body. What I do not recall were my first words to her. My mother-in-law heard me and later told me that I kept repeating, "I love you, baby. I love you, baby. I love you, baby." And, oh, how I do love that baby.

For months, we've been trying to agree on whether or not she is still a baby. I am thoroughly convinced that she will always be a baby, my baby no matter how much she grows. We laugh bunches during these talks. My heart clenched in my chest as I know she has already grow up so much...she is strong and kind and a really compassionate friend. She lets me know if she gets overwhelmed and she shares joy with me. She tells me how much she loves the snow but really does not like...hmmmnn...to do anything until she is ready to do it. Wow, I had to pause for a while to think of what it is that she really doesn't like. This morning, she didn't like the almonds in her oatmeal for quite a while but she came around to eating a whole bowl full with no prodding from me, really. She surprises me like that. Sometimes she won't budge on a certain food, piece of clothing, sharing her carseat, leaving somewhere, but then other times, she just will decide she's okay with almonds in her oatmeal, striped pants, saying goodbye to a friend or having a talk with her sister about the carseats. It amazes me how flexible she can be and I truly appreciate this aspect of being her mom.

Looking back to her first month of life, I can see that she adapted well to the outside the womb world rather well even then. It couldn't have been easy to be sooo tiny and learn to breathe and eat and all that jazz. But she thrived. She never needed needles or doctors or artificial baby formulas. She became so into reading and so verbal at a young age that it shocked us; it still does shock us daily! And, her heart is just so pure. She's so much like her dad and I in some of our best ways (like the two above details). We will forever celebrate her birth, her life, even her EDD. In my deep heart place, I so hope that she will always share her life with us as it feels ours would be amiss without her right in the middle of it.