christmas gifts

today, i was talking with a friend about how much anticipation goes into christmas day and then it's over in 24 hours, like very other day of the year. we had fun with the girls on christmas morning. we lacked yeast so instead of cinnamon rolls, hubs made orange cranberry scones. they tasted super yummy next to cups of hot cocoa. the bear's favorite gift was a little basketball...that is, until glammi got to town. she gave her a push wagon that the girls have been incorporating into their play one way or another all day. the handmade blankets with accompanying animals from granny jenny are piled into it or the little wooden bowls and cups for a picnic.

e's fave gift may be a tie: a toddler sized broom and a toddler sized dust mop. they are really cute in their minature shapes but useful, too. she's ice skating with them right now after sweeping up after spaghetti dinner.

hubs gave me the book, "fragrant rice" about a family that lives in bali. it's hard to finish the books i already am reading ("tales of a female nomad", "mere christianity" and "slow food nation") before i start it. a cool book that i read in one day, "living in bali" explores the architecture of cool houses over the island.

for the second year in a row, hubs fave gift were the sink drains that we needed. he also got a drill and fireplace tools for our woodstove. he asked for each of these things specifically.

our gifts probably sound pretty silly or practical but they were just right for us. more importantly, of course, are the family that we have to even give gifts to. we are so thankful for them.

merry christmas

christmas eve

playing in the gym

folding mats and helping put things away.

putting things away in the storage closet.

loving on the snowperson

advent with dada

sneaking in a kiss

getting in on the calender

reading along

a short story for each night

christmas decor

rubber time

"I first became aware that time has a cultural dimension when I was assigned to our consulate in the city of Medan on the Indonesian island of Sumatra, my first non-European post in the Foreign Service.

My Indonesian language teacher, Saleh Arif, came to the consulate each work day at 5 p.m. for a half hour language lesson. I mentioned one day that I had to get out invitations for an official reception two weeks away. Saleh said, "Francis, you are inviting people to a party 14 days from today. Most Indonesians don't like to be committed to anything that far in the future. At 7 p.m. on the 23rd I might be enjoying myself with friends and not want to leave them. Something might come up that evening I'd rather do. As your friend, I'd like to feel I could drop in at your house any evening at supper time and be welcomed."

Indonesian food lends itself to this kind of spontaneous informality. It is rice with sauces and side dishes that can be expanded easily to accommodate extra mouths. We adjusted to the Indonesian way. We moved to a simple, expandable evening meal and invited people no more than three or four days in advance. It wasn't unusual for guests to arrive with two or three extras in tow. "Kumoro and Didi arrived just as we were leaving for your house, so we brought them along. You'll like them."

We soon realized we were dealing with differing concepts of time. In our culture, time has substance. It is not to be wasted. It is a container to be filled. We maintain calendars and make schedules to manage separate blocks of time. We measure accomplishment by how well the allotted segments are used. We take appointments seriously, and see promptness as a virtue. Our language is full of adages urging us to use time wisely, "to fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run."

Our approach to time, which developed after the invention of the mechanical clock, is probably one of the reasons why Europe, a stagnant and peripheral backwater in the year 1000, became the predominant culture by 1500. Our own industrial and scientific preeminence and material wealth is also rooted in efficient use of time.

But we have paid a price. We think that with schedules we can control the future, but often find instead that we have become the prisoners of schedules. We are compulsive about filling blocks of time with useful activity and hurry like the Mad Hatter from appointment to appointment. We are frustrated when a task takes longer than the time we had planned. We interrupt work we have almost finished and stop activities we're enjoying because we're "running behind schedule." From this can come stress and alienation. Seeing reality as a series of segmented time compartments can blind us to the wholeness of life.

"Wasting time" for the Indonesian is a meaningless concept. Time is seen as a gentle river carrying everything along. Little effort is made to "manage" the flow. "Morning," "noon," "afternoon," "evening," divide the day adequately. Indonesians explain to Westerners that they live in "rubber time." Appointments, when made, are vague, provisional indications of intention. Harmonious interaction with other people in a flexible, spontaneous, unstructured context is the norm they seek. Interpersonal skills are valued and highly developed.

This approach to time is reflected in their language. Verbs in Indonesian have no tense. A time indicator is used, if necessary, at the beginning of a thought, but the verb remains the same for the past, present, future, and pluperfect subjunctive.

Westernized Indonesians function, of course, in both time worlds. During the work day they go to the office, work to a schedule, and make and keep appointments. When they return home the evening, they take off the western suit, put on a sarong (forget Dorothy Lamour: sarongs are worn by men), and move to the Indonesian floor of their cultural split-level.

When I was in charge of Indonesian affairs in the State Department, part of my job was to meet the Indonesian ambassador at the diplomatic entrance on C Street when he had an appointment with the assistant secretary. Without exception, the ambassador's limo arrive with exactly five minutes to spare, allowing time to go up in the elevator and walk in the assistant secretary's suite on the dot of the appointed time.

The ambassador's briefing book must have had an entry something like this: "TIME: Americans have a hang-up about time. If you are late for an appointment, they will think you unorganized and irresponsible. Even worse, they may condescend and patronize you as a simple, gentle Southeast Asian. No 'rubber time' here. Do as the Romans do."

There are, of course, many individual, regional, and national variations in approaches to time.
A friend assigned to Stockholm was told that the Swedes expected promptness, so on their first dinner invitation, and uncertain of the way, they left home early. They arrived five minutes before the appointed hour and found four other guests standing silently in the hall outside the door of the hosts' apartment. At exactly 7 p.m., the guest closest to the door pushed the bell. The door opened immediately, and all six guests filed in together.

Each of us has a slightly different feeling for the number of minutes that must elapse before we or another is "late." We recognize that a doctor's appointment is only an approximation. Hostesses issue invitations for "sevenish," and anyone arriving promptly at 5 p.m. for a 5 to 7 p.m. cocktail party may find the hostess still making canapes.

Many Americans abandon the rat race, and many that stay at it because they want it all, finally get it all after years of struggle, and then ask the plaintive, poignant question, "Is this all there is?"

There are also regional differences. After some years in North Carolina, I think most Southerners would find the Indonesian approach to time less strange than I did."

"My Time isn't Always Your Time" by Robert Underhill, from UNC.

dec 2007

this time last year, i was carrying the bear inside of my body.

e and i were reading the book, "snow" for the hundredth time.

making gingerbread cookies in all kinds of weird shapes. she still talks about certain shapes that we made.

now, the bear is here with us. we are often reading, "the gingerbread baby" and other stories by jan brett. although no gingerbread cookies have actually been baked, there has been much talk of making them. we're doing advent celebrations for the first time this year.

holiday fun

we've spent the week planning, making, buying and wrapping gifts for friends and within our family. we even made christmas cards. we stamped them then used oil pastels to draw and write notes on the back. the only thing that we lack are envelopes in the right shape. therefore, we may have to wait and deliver them in parson. tonight, we're having dinner with dear friends and exchanging our first gifts. hubby even made his special holiday bars. excitement is in the air.

home life + birth high

another new babe was born safely and gently into the world this morning. the dad to this babe was on the cover of The Independent last week if you want to see who the baby looks like! it was such a gentle and easy labor.

a new babe

her youngest boy was born at home this month. yay! welcome to the world, sweet babe!

face painting

we found non-toxic face paints by lyra. e can hold the pencil and not get messy.

the color goes on smooth and easy.

we spent the morning coloring each others faces. when we were at the grocery store later, i wondered what all the stares were about...until i remembered how we spent our morning!

thanksVEGANing

nanja made apple pie. jack attack made pecan pie. they were both amazing with coconut milk ice cream!
we pass on tofurkey in preference of these yummy celebration roasts! they are on a bed of all locally grown potatoes, turnips and rutabagas.

sisters in "matchings" as e calls outfits that match. who knew there were purple and pink cord jumpers out there for two sisters? the bear is wearing one that was e's and recently returned to us from lib. we found e's at the best kid's re-sale store around recently. it came with a matching hat!

my heart beats.

the pies mentioned above, jack's hot buns, ash made stuffing and cranberry sauce.
celebration roasts, veggies galore, mashed potatoes and collards, tea.
since our collards were all eaten up by deer and perhaps rabbits, we bought some from another garden in our town.

chopping. yes, folks, he is using the best knives in the world.

fire party